Profile
Name: Yin Bin Hao FabianBirthday: 9th November 1988 Horoscope: Scorpio Currently serving national service Previously from Temasek Polytechnic Logistics and Operations Management Tagboard
You know you love me, too.
Layout is by Cia: (Blog | Acc)Icons/banners are from: Stopthetime / Reviviscent respectively. Links inspiration are from: Alissa. xoxo |
my thoughts..
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
29th January, Tuesdayit has been ages since i had blog. since the eve of new year? or somewhere around there. lots and lots of things has happened. school has been so busy because of the major project that we had. i think everyone in our course is really very very tired because of the project. but its nothing compared to the marketing students i surpose. everyday has been projects, projects and projects. or should i slimply put it as gimmill, gimmill and gimmill. i has been there for like 5 months? since my osip period till my attachment period. it has been fun there at the company. althought what we had done is really quite unrelated. but the people there are wonderful. teaching me alot in the process. i still quarreled with one of the people there. ok i am not really those sort who quarrel with people very badly. but ever since osip i think my whole life has changed. towards people in work, i am not very tolerant? how to put it. as i just simply want to help in the company's process. but that guy kept giving me excuses like the people i worked with in china. they can give one thousand and one excuses for not doing that thing. i am too sick and tired of wasting my bloody time on that guy till i burst out shooting him back. althought interms of experience, yes i may not have. but we are surpose to be the new generation, the new blood who has the energy and the drive to lead the company on. i just wanted to know if my bloody implementation can work not. then he kept telling me gandpa and grandma story. i of course shoot him back. of course he lost to me when we already investigated the situation before trying to implement. then he ask me to ask the other department people. say he do not wnat to implement what we want. bloody fucker.. i just said fine and went up. ok i know i acted on impulse and could have caused my group trouble. but i am really sick and tired of people giving me excuses like i dont know. or giving me reasons not to do that stuff. i simply cannot tolerate this type of people. after that comes our report date line. time is so little that we did not do a good job. alot alot alot of bloody time is wasted. i shall not eleborate more. furthermore, there comes today. i was hurt really deep inside. although i appear to be the type of people who can take jokes. people can laugh at me, joke at me or whatever that pleases them. but somethings.. i am also a human being. i also have a sensitive side too. canot people just learn when to stop at saying something. saying that thing once is alright. saying it twice is alright. but really acting it out and proving it. its something that goes beyond my limitations. how will you guys feel if you were in my shoes. the people i worked so hard with. the people whom i trusted including my best friends. canot they understand my feelings? i was on the verge of walking away. the verge of crying. yes i said it. crying. i felt so out casted. its not about the number of photos that are taken. its about how i am treated. it seems fun to joke about it. i really dont mind making people laugh or entertaining them at the expense of myself. but i am really really hurt inside. even then after i gave that sian face. i did not smile, they kept of rattling about it. imagine how sad am i? all alone there. sometimes i really wonder what am i doing. what have i done wrong. or have i gone to that irritating extent? maybe i should really go back to my secondary school days. not speaking nor talking and just stut my fucking mouth up. i am hurt inside. i am really sad inside. but do anyone noticed it? does anyone know? so many people taht are close to me. everyday i meet them. but why cant they just notice and be sensitive to my feelings for once? does anyone really care about my feelings? or about how i felt when they say things about me? does any know? anyone? i really dont know how to face them anymore. somethings cannot be forgotten. maybe its like a learning process whereby there's always sadness and happiness. its like the show that i am watching. my boss my hero. in school, we will experience love, friendship and many other things. things that will change our lives. things that will make us sad. things that will make us happy. its part of the learning process. then it comes to the long awaited trip. i had been so enthu about that particular trip. going overseas with my buddies and friends. just by imagining, my heart races as i think about the funwe will have to mark a great end to out poly life. but due to some reasons, one by one they could not make it. i was sad inside. i was really looking forward to it. from the start everyone was saying yup sure no problem, count me in or whatever. but in the end? i understand about the monetary issues. i dont really blame you guys. i just felt very disappointing. so if you guys ever read this dont feel offended. i just wanted to voice out my disappointment. but then nevertheless, being in singapore and having my group of buddies around for cny is wonderful. as you are all important people to me since secondary school. nothing can trade all of you guys away. oh well.. i have been rattling so many things on and on and on. maybe its a once and for all post to voice out all my thoughts accumulated since my last post? friday's my last presentation of the year. we can do it! =) smiles. |
Friends
Agnes
April
Daughter
Elizabeth
Elvira
Felicia
Jerene
Ka Chong
Pei Shi
Samantha
Vic
Wee Gek
Weng Lum
Zhiqi
Friendster
|