Haha it's been really long long long since I last blogged. Well I think twitter took over my ranting space now! Plus I doubt anyone even reads this page. Well some stuff its still better to blog than tweet about it. I just finished my exams in university life!! Yay!! Okay actually I am not really happy about it kind of sad too. Well.. That's my course work for my entire university life. Wa lao got 2 credit!! =.= Some more both are those just nice 1 mark to distinction kind. >.< Last semester I did really badly with 1HD, 1 DID and 2 Credits in comparison to my first semester where I have 2HD's and 2 DID's. Luckily my first semester was nicely done which still gives me an overall GPA of 3.125. Ahhhh still in target of my degree with distinction.. This semester I will need 3 DID's and 1 Credit to just nice swee swee hit 3.0 and get my degree with distinction.. Okays maybe all of you will wanna kill me when I rant about getting credits instead of distinctions and feeling sad. But it's kind of a personal goal whereby since I am studying full time might as well attain the best possible score? Hopefully this time when I get my results I will attain it and give it to my mum as belated mothers day present. This semester I really worked very very hard and never really joined council activities at all as I want to focus on my studies. Actually all of them just nice falls on my test dates! Boohoo.. During study break I went to SMU to study almost 3 full days for each module I am taking and 1 full day at home. Really did my best and leave no regrets unlike last semester. I studied till I want to vomit literally when you know you can no longer concentrate but just forcing yourself to do so. Be it switching off your mind and writing notes or just repeatedly doing past year papers and tutorials. Study till 'bin qi qi' like yew suan and pulling my hair out. Plus I was so touched that my mum cooked for me everyday when I went out to study! =") Really really hope I can make her happy with my grades although I know a degree with or without distinction does not really make a difference at all when looking for jobs as its not honors.  

Quite sad actually throughout my university. Do I look happy to all of you? Deep inside I was really lonely and sad all by myself. Ever since that tai wee incident I drifted apart from my university clique for this entire semester. Luckily I still have a few friends in class but not really close though. Who goes home after having your last paper in university?! Me! Totally no mood when a day before your last paper you see the girl whom you liked for the last 1.5 years got boyfriend already. My gut feeling was really terrible and most of the times I tried to psycho myself that it's not happening but it did. Really devastated  to see what I should not have seen a day before exams. 

Which idiot does such a birthday card for the girl he likes during his tests just for her birthday? Oh ya it has 3 layers the black, orange and yellow and I did it for both sides and another one inside the card to write on top of it. I may not be the greatest guy in the world or a great artist but at least I really made the effort to put together stuffs for your birthday. Ever since I knew you for the past 1.5 years my life has been nothing short of miserable. When we met I went to find your perfume for you walking in streets going shop to shop asking with a picture inside my phone just to surprise you. And you? Went out dating while I was searching. On the first day of the year you patched back with your ex bf. Wow.. Then which idiot went online to buy the perfume which coats $60 including shipping back for you just to surprise you when I actually found it in Singapore selling it at $20 and bought 2 without even thinking. It's not about the money as money could be earned back. What's a few hundred dollars in a few years time. 

                                     

Again which idiot will spend time to put together a birthday present for you buying a tweety bird water bottle online so that you'll remember to drink water. And tweety tops for you as you complain its hard to find them in Singapore. Yellow is to cheer you up when you're going through a really tough patch. Chocolates for you so that after eating them it'll make you happy. Pink roses for you as its your lucky color. Which idiot that's always there for you and waking up in the middle of the night 2am just to talk to you on the phone when I am really really tired till morning. Mind you I am someone who sleeps early at twelve than your normal timing of 2-4am. Which guy in the right mind will just stupidly be there for you and reply to your smses and calls immediately. Which guy will worry for you when you're not feeling well and even want to leave work just to bring you to the doctor. Which guy apologizes when he was not in the wrong but just to give in to you he apologizes. Which guy constantly thinks of you and send you good luck messages or mmses (mind you my phone easily have 20 tweety bird pictures) before your every single test papers or exams. Which guy reaches 30 minutes earlier on a date as he didn't want you to wait. Which guy spends time to listen to you and talk to you when you needed someone most. Which guy was there even though he knew you had a bf. Which guy cries for you when you hurt him but he does not tell you at all.

Aren't you really selfish? For the entire duration of us knowing each other how many times have you hurt me? Have you ever considered my feelings? Have you ever really asked me how am I doing? Or how am I feeling? Every time when I tired to talk about something related to myself you'll change topic to the problems you face be it family problems or work or school. What about me? What about the me who's here every single time for you without fail. What about me who's just contented being there for you. What about me who forsaken the entire forest just for you. You're really cruel in a way whereby every time when I decided to give up on you you'll come to me again and keep my hopes alive. I know it very well that you needed company and yet I willingly submit to everything that you want me to do or react. 

Well.. I am really depressed that I found out you have a bf through someone posting <3 on your wall and looking at his comments saying he's waiting for his gf to come back and you're in Thailand. Will you spare a thought for me? Do you know that everyday when the train passes your home I will think of you? It's really hard on me doing all these for someone who doesn't really care about me. Still harboring hopes and willingly be hurt by you? I hope you know that you're the one and only person which hurt me the most. Call me dumb or stupid. I know its all on my own free will and I have no one else to blame but myself. I hope you're happy now.. Always telling me that you're going to be in a relationship again. Bull shit please.. It really saddens me when what I did in 1.5 years could not match up to a guy which god knows how long you knew him or talked to him. I hope you'll think back and remember there's someone who treated you even better than he's treating himself. That someone is finally going to give up even though for years people told me to give up on which which I didn't. It's finally goodbye..