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Name: Yin Bin Hao Fabian
Birthday: 9th November 1988
Horoscope: Scorpio
Currently serving national service
Previously from Temasek Polytechnic
Logistics and Operations Management


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Degree with Distinction!
Saturday, June 16, 2012



It has been awhile since I last blogged! Firstly I want to say that I finally got my Degree with Distinction!! Hooray!! All my hard work has finally paid off for the last 1.5 years. The entire May I was so worried about my results that I had nightmares I would miss the mark by a grade. In the end I got it with 2 grades to spare. Lucky! All along my grades have quite a few was right smack on the dot like 70 or 80 for distinction’s and high distinction’s. In total I have got 4 HD’s, 6 DI’s and 2 CR’s with a cumulative GPA of 3.2/4.0. Ah damn price theory and risk management. I could’ve got distinction if not for the black out during the exam for a high percentage question which after coming out I suddenly remembered how to do! =/ But well I am really contented with this semester’s results. I secretly aimed for 2HD’s and 2DI’s so that I could end my last semester with identical results as the first semester. My International Trade is really oh my god. I got HD for my course work and a high one in fact and ended up gotten back a really low distinction of 71 marks which means my exams was a major screw up. However I think the paper could be marked really strictly as quite a few of my friends failed that module and thus unable to graduate with us. =/ Needless to say there was quite a few of my friends who missed the degree with distinction by just a single grade by like 3 marks? That was my greatest fear. But seriously I am glad that I really did well after all the hard work especially the study break whereby I allocated precise days to study each module and followed strictly to it. Luckily I got Clarissa to study with me throughout in which we really motivated each other! We really studied in SMU every single day from the morning all the way into the night. At times the other councilors were there too! Whoever said that council would take up loads of study time and affect your grades is greatly mistaken!  In fact the majority of the councilors are HD students like me whom motivate each other! We shared past year papers with each other, taught each other and had fun with each other! It was really a pity my course was so short at 1.5 years else I would really like to mix with all of them more! Although the last semester I kind of distance myself from council due to my studies I would still do what I can to help them whenever I could. =) Got my testimonial from council too! At least I could really look back into university life and said that I had a good one! From orientation mates to council peeps to all the other old friends that I had be it during poly or army, it was really a joy to step into a school which gave me a feeling close to Temasek Polytechnic.

I would like to thank my parents too! Especially my mum whom constantly cooked for me during the study break worrying that I would be hungry and brewed loads of liang teh for me. Thanks mum! This Degree with Distinction was really for you! Before all the last 4 papers I would pray really hard before the reading time that all I have studied would come out as I want to make you proud of me and it did! I guessed heaven really answered my pleas before the exams. =) That saying my dad too! Although he could not really show it but he did try to encourage me during exams and tell me to do my best and not to worry about the outcome and it did. Although I do not have a girlfriend which I really wished for I have wonderful parents that I really appreciate. I guess heaven was really fair.

Well that was about all for my happy portions for my blog post and everything from here on will be more emotional or negative if I could say.

Firstly for the past few weeks I was really worried due to my family problems. I hate to say this but my mum could lose her job due to some reasons. I sincerely hope that it will never happen! As for her age what could she do if that really happens? I think it was a million times more stressful than me waiting for my results. Luckily I have graduated. Imagine if I still have 2 years of university education. The consequences would be more severe. I really prayed very hard that my mum would pass this test. This was one major reason that I was really worried and unhappy over the past few weeks. I could not possibly tell anyone about it just like this. It is really weird if I did.

Secondly was my job hunt. So far there were no interviews yet. Whoever that said degree with distinction has no advantage over a normal degree is damn sure as hell. I have got a degree with distinction but so? I have got loads of friends whom had a normal degree but landed jobs and started working while I am still at home being a leech. I seriously dislike depending on others. Call me dumb or stupid but I have my morals. My dad offered to pay a part of my study loan but I declined as I wanted to show that I sent myself to university and paid for my own study fees. I feel that it makes a great difference when one have to worry about study loans while another does not. It makes you sense the urgency to study well and not fail anything. It’s not that I am proud or anything but I feel studies are really hard to fail if you attend lessons and listen to lectures attentively. Do your tutorials and practice every single past year paper there is and every tutorials. If everyone before me is able to do it there is no excuse for me not being able to do it. I am not inferior to them in anyway. It is the hunger to succeed that I have more than anyone that brought me to doing well in my studies. Yes Scorpio’s are proud creatures whom cannot lose and I am damn right about it. Applied it correctly and it will be unstoppable. Currently I am searching for financial analyst roles or portfolio management roles in financial institutes. These job positions are really hard to come by and require loads of experience. Maybe sooner or later I would just jump into sales if I do not land a job soon where I have no choice as my loan repayments are going to start in July. This was my next worry as I cannot defer my loans as the interests are really high. Unlike others my parents do not have much savings too. This is why I resolute myself to take a study loan and pay it fully by myself. Rest assured my studies will never stop here and I will take CFA real soon once everything is settled down.

Next would be her. Let me touch on her a bit. Well it has really been awhile since she last talked to me after she got into a relationship and I totally shut myself away from her. Before the release of my results she was really nice to wish me on Facebook and   tagged me with the Dumbo photo to cheer me up like always. During the release of my last 2 results she was always there for me which I am really appreciative. Especially before exams a simple good luck message from her would really send my confidence sky high! And sky high it did, I ended up scoring mostly HD’s with her blessing. =) However that day I was really cold towards her. She even took the liberty to message me and asked me how my result was and how was everything. She was really cheerful as usual and tried to talk to me numerous times which I gave her totally cold replies which were totally unlike me. Somewhere in me I kind of regretted doing so but I cannot help it after all she did. Call me dumb maybe but I was really really really devoted. Probably if I see her on the streets one fine day I would not know how to react. Should I say hi or should I avoid her. What should I do? I have no idea. I never believed in how lovers could not be friends after break ups and now I do. Although we were not together, somehow it relates.

Then there was my university life. I think it was no secret that I hated my course due to the low number of females. And damn right I was not joking with 75% guys inside the course. Before university I was really looking forward into finding my other half. Upon entering the course it was no longer the case. Joining council partly was me wanting to know more ladies. No one can fault me for that as most of us joined for that purpose. The purpose of getting a testimonial from it was just a smaller reason to join. Actually I was a little regretful as throughout the years I have got quite a few possible positive outcomes that I decided to make it clear that I was not interested. One of the major reasons was her. I was seriously devoted to her and really tried my best to impress her. Now looking back I felt that that was really a move that was unwise. I have wasted 1.5 years of my life away in university. Maybe I was curious. Maybe it was pressure from my parents. (Yes my parents. You should try listening to them telling me to faster find a girlfriend and buy a flat and get married.) The biggest thought of it was to find someone who could listen to me. There were numerous times that I really needed that someone. You cannot possibly tell guys about all these stuffs? Besides that is feels really gay to me. I could not always complain to the same people too. Most or all of them have boyfriends and I cannot depend on them all the time. How would the boyfriend feel? I just feel that I should not really do that. And I cannot possibly date them out for movies or shopping right. I have really learnt my lesson. Although Scorpio’s are idiots who like to go for the forbidden but I think it has its limits. I still have my morals to follow. Maybe on the surface I look like I am desperate. However from my actions I really did not do anything desperate. I did not try to talk to any girls nor message anyone. Now I can safely say that the only girl that is messaged me was my mum. The rest are all guys. If I am really desperate I will really message every single one of them and try to strike a conversation. I really need a hug. There are so many things that are on my mind and all I need it really someone to be there for me. Just being there literally is fine and I will appreciate it for the rest of my life. Scorpio’s are someone that remembers the good and the bad things that people do to them. All the positive actions that people do are deeply etched in my mind and I will repay them someday if I can or repay them in equal terms.

Lastly I do not know that if I am too nice to people that people took it for granted. There’s a reason for everything that I do and not just something that I want to do. If people think that I am selfish or just do things for myself please try to ask me for the reason. There is a reason for everything. Maybe I think too much. Or maybe I consider too much. But what I did was how I feel I should do it or how I feel it should be done. An example would be my buddies’ birthday. It was not my intention to choose some buffet that was so expensive. Do they know that I don’t have much savings too? And my mum’s job was on the line. I simply thought of choosing some place that was nice as who would want to celebrate their birthday at some cheap restaurant. I feel that celebrations should have basic respect placed on it. At least show that I care and did what I could. Not everything that one has to say it out loud to everyone that what I did behind the scenes. I even stopped gaming to discuss about it while they grumble where I went and I simply have to lie that I was doing something for my parents. From the bottom of my heart I swear that I will not want to lose the 3 of them no matter what. But at times it was really difficult to plan stuffs. Please understand that it was not a given that I have to plan them every time. It was really hard to do so when no one’s replying me and everyone’s dragging and waiting for things to happen. I was really frustrated at times but I could not express it. At times I may say stuffs that may be unpleasant. Or even impose my ideas onto you guys. For that I am truly sorry. Believe me all I did giving my best suggestion with no hidden agendas. I could nag a lot or I could talk a lot but it was really for the welfare of you guys. Never once did I show my worries. All of us have our own problems. Just hope that nothing major will happen in the future like what happened to Amos.

Next, for the person that was always there for me. Thanks! =) Noticed that I will say thanks unexpectedly as I really appreciate the listening ear you gave me. Probably sadly to say I have no one to turn to except you. This is why I feel the need to say thanks for listening to every single bit of my stories. My stories are really repetitive and boring. And it was mostly about her which really bore you to death I suppose. Sorry for the mistakenly black face that I had. I was really worried about my results and all the other stuff on my mind. I could not possibly tell you everything as it will be too imposing on you as my best friend. =) I am really listening to what you were saying! =) However I think after telling me off about me being cold to her it somehow hit a raw nerve on me as I felt that at times maybe guys should also have their temper too. Not on you but on her. As she really took me for granted I felt. Don’t you? Sorry about me losing my temper too. =( At times I just felt that I could not rely too much on you as much as I wanted to. Maybe I am thinking too much. I hope that I will not lose you in the future as I feel that you’re someone I really appreciate. Really indebted to you all this while being there for me. Thanks! =)

Well its 330 AM in the morning now and I had spent like 1 whole hour typing this on Microsoft word as I am too lazy to on my internet. There are still loads of stuffs that I want to type. I am really thankful for everything everyone as done. Especially those posts that I made on Facebook whereby so many people congratulated me on my results or in the form of likes. Really felt loved. There are so many people who have been with me thus far. Really enjoy their company. Let’s see there’s DD, hq, jes, kam, wj. Followed by alice, pj, hs, karen, fel, honey, kc. There’s my army buddies too sc, jg, del, kuah, ben, clement, yh, jon, regan, damien, kenneth, lionel. My university clique closer ones cc, yy, sandra, mich, xy, kim, gary, phoebe, gt. The council peeps. Other clique like jer, clarissa, sandy, michelle. My buddies, ron, vic, ys, hao. Not to forget her, jie and jerene. Not to forget my mum, dad and brother. Probably everyone helped to shaped me as a person. Sincerely thank all of you for making my life thus far a blessing although I had many worries in life. =)

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